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Funny Quotes About Doctors

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

George Carlin
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The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir.

Thomas Fuller
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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Henny Youngman
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I saw a specialist who asked me: 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?' I said: 'I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas'.

Bob Monkhouse
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We may lay down a maxim, that when a nation abounds in physicians it grows thin of people.

Joseph Addison
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says "That's what puzzles me!"

Henny Youngman
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