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Funny Quotes About Doctors

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

George Carlin
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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Henny Youngman
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Doctors are great - as long as you don't need them.

Edward E. Rosenbaum
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The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir.

Thomas Fuller
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Doctors don't seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.

Joe Haldeman (book "The Forever War")
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I saw a specialist who asked me: 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?' I said: 'I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas'.

Bob Monkhouse
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