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Funny Quotes About Doctors

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

George Carlin
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I saw a specialist who asked me: 'Are you familiar with the phrase faecal impaction?' I said: 'I think I saw that one with Glenn Close and Michael Douglas'.

Bob Monkhouse
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Doctors don't seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.

Joe Haldeman (book "The Forever War")
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I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

Richard Lewis
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The reason doctors are so dangerous is that they believe in what they are doing.

Robert S. Mendelsohn
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Doctors are great - as long as you don't need them.

Edward E. Rosenbaum
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