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Funny Quotes About Doctors

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

George Carlin
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Doctors don't seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.

Joe Haldeman (book "The Forever War")
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A doctor has a stethoscope up to a man's chest. The man asks "Doc, how do I stand?" The doctor says "That's what puzzles me!"

Henny Youngman
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I quit therapy because my analyst was trying to help me behind my back.

Richard Lewis
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I told the doctor I broke my leg in two places. He told me to quit going to those places.

Henny Youngman
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

Steve Martin
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