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Funny Quotes About Doctors

God heals, and the doctor takes the fees.

Benjamin Franklin
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I recently went to a new doctor and noticed he was located in something called the Professional Building. I felt better right away.

George Carlin
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Doctors don't seem to realize that most of us are perfectly content not having to visualize ourselves as animated bags of skin filled with obscene glop.

Joe Haldeman (book "The Forever War")
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The patient is not likely to recover who makes the doctor his heir.

Thomas Fuller
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The doctor gave a man six months to live. The man couldn't pay his bill, so he gave him another six months. The Doctor called Mrs. Cohen saying "Mrs. Cohen, your check came back." Mrs. Cohen answered "So did my arthritis!" The Doctor says "You'll live to be 60!" "I AM 60!" "See, what did I tell you?"

Henny Youngman
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The New England Journal of Medicine reports that 9 out of 10 doctors agree that 1 out of 10 doctors is an idiot.

Jay Leno
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First the doctor told me the good news: I was going to have a disease named after me.

Steve Martin
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