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Funny Food Quotes

Food for thought is no substitute for the real thing.

Walt Kelly
short quotes   food quotes  
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I went on a diet, swore off drinking and heavy eating, and in fourteen days I lost two weeks.

Joe E. Lewis
short quotes   drinking quotes   food quotes  
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This recipe is certainly silly. It says to separate two eggs, but it doesn't say how far to separate them.

Gracie Allen
food quotes   stupid quotes  
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"Thou shall not kill. Thou shall not commit adultery. Don't eat pork." I'm sorry, what was that last one? "Don't eat pork. God has spoken." Is that the word of God or is that just pigs trying to outsmart everybody?

Jon Stewart
religion quotes   food quotes  
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Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.

Ambrose Bierce
thanksgiving quotes   anniversary quotes   religion quotes   food quotes  
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Ever wonder about those people who spend $2 apiece on those little bottles of Evian water? Try spelling Evian backward.

George Carlin
sarcastic quotes   food quotes  
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My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Phyllis Diller
short quotes   thanksgiving quotes   quotes about kids/childhood   food quotes  
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