We're having something a little different this year for Thanksgiving. Instead of a turkey, we're having a swan. You get more stuffing.
Food is an important part of a balanced diet.
Thanksgiving is the only meal that you can toss bourbon into every dish you serve to make it better.
Cauliflower is nothing but cabbage with a college education.
Turkey: A large bird whose flesh, when eaten on certain religious anniversaries has the peculiar property of attesting piety and gratitude.
Instead of turkey for Thanksgiving I'm serving a bowl full of Cliff bars. Day's about family anyway so anyone who complains is a dick.
The most remarkable thing about my mother is that for 30 years she served the family nothing but leftovers. The original meal has never been found.