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Funny Food Quotes

Food is an important part of a balanced diet.

Fran Lebowitz
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The only way to keep your health is to eat what you don't want, drink what you don't like, and do what you'd rather not.

Mark Twain
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Top Ten Signs You Had A Bad Thanksgiving:

10. You ran out of booze by 11 a.m.
9. Most frequently used word at dinner: Heimlich
8. Meal was leftovers from last Thanksgiving
7. Thanks to new electric knife, kids fought over wishbone and your severed thumb
6. The 'turkey' was wearing a dog collar
5. Spent day in Times Square waiting for the giant turkey to drop
4. Woke up from tryptophan-induced sleep to find yourself naked in the driveway
3. When dinner came out, so did your son
2. Laura and the twins lock you out
1. Your turkey dinner was the only breast you've touched all year

David Letterman
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It's so beautifully arranged on the plate - you know someone's fingers have been all over it.

Julia Child
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The only time to eat diet food is while you're waiting for the steak to cook.

Julia Child
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Give a man a fish, and he can eat for a day. But teach a man how to fish, and he'll be dead of mercury poisoning inside of three years.

Charles Haas
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Here I am 5 o'clock in the morning stuffing bread crumbs up a dead bird's butt...

Roseanne Barr
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