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Funny Food Quotes

My cooking is so bad my kids thought Thanksgiving was to commemorate Pearl Harbor.

Phyllis Diller
short quotes   thanksgiving quotes   quotes about kids/childhood   food quotes  
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Fun-sized Snickers? Who's this fun for? Not me. I need six or seven of these babies in a row to start having fun.

Jeff Carlin
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To prepare for Thanksgiving, I've been eating increasingly larger turkey dinners at every meal for the last seven months.

Tim Siedell (tweet)
Thanksgiving quotes   twitter quotes   food quotes  
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Pepperidge Farm bread...that's fancy bread. You can tell it's fancy because it's wrapped twice. You open it, and it still isn't open. That's why I don't buy it. I don't need another step between me and toast.

Mitch Hedberg
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Dear Lord, I've been asked, nay commanded, to thank Thee for the Christmas turkey before us... a turkey which was no doubt a lively, intelligent bird... a social being... capable of actual affection... nuzzling its young with almost human-like compassion. Anyway, it's dead and we're gonna eat it. Please give our respects to its family...

Berke Breathed
Christmas quotes   food quotes  
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Texas: 32 electoral votes, another of the so-called big enchiladas or if not an enchilada at least a huge taco.

Dan Rather
political quotes   food quotes   Texas quotes  
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Facebook founder Mark Zuckerberg admits that he only eats what he kills. Which reminds me, has anyone seen the Winklevoss twins lately?

Joan Rivers (tweet)
twitter quotes   crime quotes   food quotes   quotes about Facebook  
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