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Funny Death Quotes

I'm not afraid of death; I just don't want to be there when it happens.

Woody Allen
life quotes   death quotes   short quotes   ego quotes  
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The living are just the dead on holiday.

Maurice Maeterlinck
death quotes   short quotes  
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Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant.

Henry Miller
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The idea is to die young as late as possible.

Ashley Montagu
death quotes   short quotes   stupid quotes  
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He's too nervous to kill himself. He wears his seat belt in a drive-in movie.

Neil Simon
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I'm always relieved when someone is delivering a eulogy and I realise I'm listening to it.

George Carlin
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